Whatever

Familiar Heartache

2008-05-14T11:11:00.000-07:00

The same wind is blowing once again,
The same fragrance in the air I feel,
My heart is beating with the same rhythm again,
Once again I am going head over my heel.

The same feeling of you near me,
And that dream of you in my life once more,
Of that love, who never even got a chance,
I hear him knocking once again at the door.

Is it for real or am I being fooled again?
By believing that, that love could ever be found,
But good thing is I know now;-even if my heart breaks,
No one will know again, as there will be no sound.

Changed Perceptions

2007-06-26T02:15:00.001-07:00

Being an MBA I was always told not to generalize things based on couple of Incidents, but as judgmental as I am, I tend to form opinions very quickly.

Same was with Bangalore. I have had some bad experiences with Bangalore in Recent past and soon I formed an opinion. Bangalore is a city of rude, cheaters and cunning people who would go to any extent to squeeze extra money out of your pocket, specially if you are a north-Indian.

But a couple of days ago, a small incident changed everything. I was having an awful day, both personally and professionally, and while traveling back to my guest house, in my infy bus(btw those who are still unaware, I have joined Infosys Bangalore as a BA),I was completely lost in my thoughts. Then my stop came and I got off the bus. After around 5-6 mins, i realized that I have forgotten my expensive mobile set in the infy bus.

That was really the icing on the cake as far as my day was concerned, loosing a 16Ks mobile phone which i loved. I had no hope of getting it back, specially in Bangalore, but decided to call into my number.

Then someone answered on the other side. His name was Mr. Satish M.R. I told him that i have forgotten my cell in the bus. He told me not to worry about the cell as he is having it and he will return it to me at any time suitable to me. He also gave me his personal mobile number.Then he explained me the complete address, including land marks, about the place where he will get off from the bus. I took an auto to that place and called him again On his mobile. He was waiting for me there and came to me within 2-3 mins.

He seemed very simple and nice person. I told him that how much i appreciate what he has done for me, He replied by saying that there is no need to thank him and infact he is feeling sad that i had to travel so long to get back my mobile.

I then returned to my flat with a changed perception of this city forever. It was really nice to know that there are still people like Satish M.R. present in this seemingly materialistic and mean world.

Branded for life!!!

2007-05-06T10:32:00.000-07:00

I very recently got a tattoo.Its a red coloured khanda(Sikh's religious symbol)which i got on my upper right arm.I wanted it for soo long but somehow always chickened out at the last moment.But during my second last week of my college life,i finally decided to go for it.

It hurted like hell during tattoo making and healing process,which btw lasted 15 days,but i am so glad i went for it.I had an awesom college life, both during my engineering days and specially during my MBA,and i just needed something to keep reminding me of the same.

I am now out of college and will face the real world(yeah..yeah..its a cliche).My life has already changed a lot and i know it will change,only time will tell if for better,but surely forever.Thats why this tattoo is so important for me,it will keep me reminding of the real me,even when i would be a 50 year old boring guy,that once i was young and energetic and rebel and probably stupid.

This tattoo also represents me.Altering body in any way(including getting tattoo) is forbidden in sikhism.And i got a tattoo of sikh religious symbol.So my tattoo is itself a big contradiction and i see my life,whenever i see my tattoo.

My life has been full of contradictions.I am an aithest sikh.I belong to one of the richest family but somehow hates spending money which i havent earned.I have had many flinges(and by many i really means many) but am still searching for a companion,a perfect love.I am one of the most outgoing guy of my college with a huge friend list but some how finds it difficult to fit into my local family friends group.And i can go on and on,on the same topic.

And this is exactly what a khanda in my arm represents.For people seeing it,it may be just a tattoo,a cool symbol of modernism,but for me it means a lot more.Its virtually my whole life story encripted in this 3x3 inch square of space.And all things said,one thing is for sure,i am surely branded for life.

Still there....

2007-03-29T06:16:00.000-07:00

Still sometimes at my shadow, I gaze,
Still at times in tht darkness, I see her face,
Still walking all alone, on tht lonely way,
The same road which we travelled together someday,
Still I m lost....And perhaps tht would be my fate....
That I love that one ...whom I wanted to hate!!
Confused, Bedazzled, Berserk, and Battered...
Solemnity abound and completely shattered...
With words I play....
Still lost on my way...

Still searching for tht "someone",

Still waiting I am to meet her again...
Yes the very thought is a pleasure admist this pain
I hope not, for I've been hurt enough to hate you
I hope so, for I've earned the right to miss you
I hope not, for the venom is still lurking
I hope so, for the love is never fading...

Bus No: 524

2007-02-23T04:44:00.000-08:00

Last week i went to pune to spend some time with my sis.While returning from there,i left the volvo at vashi(approx 5:30 pm) and decided to take the bus no:524 which drops me directly in front of IIT gate.

The frequency of that bus is very low and so i had to wait almost 40 mins for that bus.While waiting at the bus stand,i saw a woman.She was in her mid thirties,wearing a blue jeans and a read T-shirt.She was carrying a ladies purse and was looking like a working professional.

What attracted me towards her was her face.She was looking very depressed,with eyes full of tears almost on the verge of crying.We had an eye contact lasting for 3-4 sec then she looked away.She again looked at my eyes after 2-3 mins.I think she realised that i knew something wrong is going on in her life.

I initially thought about going to her and asking if everything is all right.But then i decided not to barge myself into someone elses private matter.And after about 15 mins,her mobile started ringing.

She took out the mobile from her purse,saw the number and turned the mobile into silent mode.And after 20-25 sec of thinking and just acting cool,she decided to accept the call.

When she started talking,she was on the verge of breaking down.She was talking with her head down looking at the ground.I have no idea what she was talking about or who was on the other side but after 4-5 min of talking,she suddenly started smiling.She then disconnected the phone,took out her hankerchief and wiped her eyes and face.

Then she stood up and looked at me with a smiling face but eyes full of tears.I also smiled back at her in a way feeling happy for whatever just happened to her.She then took the bus no:506(which btw was 4th bus of same number passed since last 20 mins) and dissappeared.

I sat at the bus stop waiting for my bus no:524,thinking about the possible reasons or problems which she might be facing in her life.I was also thinking about how i somehow felt that i knew so much about her without even talking to her.And after about 10 more mins,my bus no:524 finally arrived.

Now i don't believe in Love

2006-11-16T10:23:00.000-08:00

I used to think that love is beautiful,
But after i found you,i thought it through,
Now i know though love can be attractive,
But it can never be as Magical as you.

I used to think that love is Angelic,
But after i found you,i thought it through,
Now i know though love can be unsullied,
But it can never be as seraphic as you.

I used to think that love is God,
But after i found you,i thought it through,
Now i know though love can give hope,
It can never be as Comforting as you.

I used to think that love is true,
But after i found you,i thought it through,
Now even i don't believe in love,
Because i have started believing in you.

A known stranger.

2006-10-17T14:01:00.000-07:00

I met an old friend last week.I was meeting her after 12 years(well she thinks its 13 but i am sure its 12 :)).She was soon geting married.Although it was my idea to meet up for the lunch but i was myself not feeling like going,thinking it would be a boring get together with nothing common to talk.

But on contrary,i really had a nice time.You know whats good about meeting an old buddy who knows nothing(recent) about your life,you can share anything with her without having a guilt of sharing too much.I knew i would never meet her again in my life(or maybe for another 12 years) and probably she knew it too,so we both opened our hearts out to each other.

She told me some of her most personal secrets,fears,insecurities and many other aspects of her life.And after 4 hours of eating pizzas and 3 rounds of icecreams,I also didn't left anything unsaid about my last 12 years.

Its so amazing that you spend each day of your life with someone and yet are stranger to them whereas another person knows nothing about you yet seems to know you inside out.Even more amazing thing was that despite of not knowing anything about me,she gave me all the answers/reasons i was searching for soo long.And the most amazing part of all is,she gave me it in just one line.

After listening to me for almost half hour,she said: "I think the easiest way to loose something is to wan't it too badly".

And my mind went,woah at that very moment.Thats exactly the mantra of life,not to want something too badly so that you forgets the reason why you wanted it in the first place.After thinking it through many times,i think somewhere in my heart i already learned that thing but i guess she verbalized it in the best possible way.Thanks buddy for everything.And wish you a great life ahead :):)

And to all junta reading my blog,a very Happy diwali to you all :):)

God would have been an atheist.

2006-10-10T13:02:00.000-07:00

Being born in a religious family,i was always taught to respect and believe in God.But since i started developing some sence of logic,i my belief system took a U-turn.I have been an aithest for almost 7 years now.Somehow this concept of GOD always seems greek to me.There are many reasons for the same...some of them are:

1)I have never got anything by praying,even if i pray a lot.My output always depended on my input,that is the hard work and dedication i put up in achieving my target.So why pray at all ???

2)When our holy books says that all things in our life are destined,so why pray at all.You will get what is written in your destiny without praying also.Also i remember when i was unable to crack one entrance exam long ago,a priest in a local temple told me that its destiny whereas i knew exactly where i did wrong(my lack of effort in one section of the exam).

3)If God created all of us,then why there are so many different Gods in many different religion,does God himself created another God???Who is the original God then???

4)If your answer to last question is: "There is one God who came in multiple forms at different times",then why the beliefs of most of the religions,mutually conflicting to each other???

5)Does it makes any sence that going to temple everyday,not eating non veg on certain days,and reading some holy book twice a day or week and keepin fast will actually make any possitive change in your life(well ofcourse except making you healthy in terms of low fat input and saving you from fast life outside the gurudwaras/temples etc.)

6)If God would have existed,then would He/She be an atheist or a believer.I mean will He/She wanted us to believe in Him/Her,build extra-expensive gurudwaras/temples for Him/Her and fight,kill or even hate other people if they attack our these place of worship.

My personal beliefs are these:
1)God is a concept rather than an entity.
2)There are certain things beyond our controls and is guided by some supreme power beyond us(so far)and we must learn to respect(and not worship) this supreme power.
3)I go to all worship places near my college campus,but only for peace of mind they provide me in this fast life of mine.
4)I consider my family and my work much above God.
5)Live life.....its more beautiful than God.

Life after Love !!!

2006-09-19T09:31:00.000-07:00

Wrote this poem a long time ago.I donno why i suddenly felt like posting it on my blog.Its just four lines describing that period between lost-love and death.Some people also called this period as "life"(???).

And life went on without you,
Cursing me with each step,
And i kept losing till i had nothing to lose anymore,
And then life left me Like a fair-weather bitch.

Life is a binary tree.

2006-08-31T13:17:00.000-07:00

Binary tree in computer science is defined as a tree structure in which each node have two childs-left and right and these childs again acts as a node.

I remember when this concept was being taught in my class,i faded out in my imagination and this time i was not,as usual,thinking about the girl i loved.This time i was thinking about my life.I found this concept of binary tree very similar how our life is.

At every node of our life,we have two CHOICES,left and right.I know many people thinks that life is a predefined path but i have a firm believe that life always gives you choices.You CHOOSE what you are and how you are.

And the final out come of where you have reached today,or how you are now or even what you did a second ago,depends on all the CHOICE you made in the past.Just one change in the decision and your life would have been entirely different to what it is now(something similar to the concept of parallel universes).

Life is all about CHOICES.This is the real mantra of life,CHOOSING the right things.Life does provides you all the opportunities to be anyone or anywhere you want.It ultimately depends on what you CHOOSE for yourself.

And its not always easy.Sometimes you do have to let go an immediate right(or left)node that you wan't and take not so attractive other node to ultimately reach your destination.Its all about optimizing your path.

Also,sometimes external circumstance forces you to take a node and let go the node that you actually wanted...i think we all must have gone through these phases in our life.And 3 years down the line,all you can do is sit near your lappy,listening to Floyd's "Whish you were here",and just wishing that you can go back in time and CHOOSE the other node this time.

On the other hand,life would be a boring bitch,if all decisions we made were the right ones.After all the best part of life is even if you took a wrong turn in past,there is still a long road with many CHOICES waiting for you in the future.And thats why life is always beautiful....sachhi :):):):)

My two cents on love.

2006-08-12T12:11:00.000-07:00

Love....well i have been hearing this word a lot these days specially after posting my last poem.I even had few email exchanges with a blogging buddy(knownstranger) and chatted with few friends on same topic.So finally thought i should write what love actually means to me.

Well...my defination of love is not something what you hear everyday...its not even that idealistic or heavenly but based on my practical(what else can you expect from an IITian)observations and experiences.According to me,there is no one love,but a person falls in love hundreds of time in his entire life.Yes there is nothing like permanent love,which lasts forever.

So how do some people stays together and loves each other forever?
The trick to what we call true love is being able to fall for the same person again and again in your life.This is what differentiate true love from mere infatuations or crushes.

The sadest part is that most people take this form of attractions as true love and ends up commiting to a wrong person.And as a result,one day they wake up and realize that the love is suddenly gone and ends up hurting others and themself.Trust me you can fall for a wrong person once,twice or thrice but its impossible to fall for him/her again and again each and every time,every day of your life.For that you need someone special.

Now comming to the age old question...how do i know i am ready for a commitment??
Well Just take a look at that person,knowing all good and bad things about him/her and ask yourself,will i be able to fall for him/her again and again,each and everyday of my life or even for a large part of my life.Or even better,will he/she be able to make me fall for him/her everyday of my life.And your heart will know exactly what to do.

I remember watching a movie called "50 first dates" in which drew barrymore had a disease where she forgets Adam sandler every new day....and Adam sandler tries new things everyday just to make her fall for him again.It was so lovely.I Just wish all people of this world assumes that their soulmate has same disease and make him/her fall in love everyday,have every touch as first touch and every kiss as their first kiss.I know it sounds a bit tooo idealistic...but hey i am a dreamer :):):)

How i'll be seduced!!!

2006-07-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

She may not have a deadly looks,
Not even a flamboyant style,
Nor a body like a model,
Or a monalisa like smile.

Nor a sophasticated dressing sence,
Or a taste of modern art,
But i'll still fall for her,
Yes she will take away my heart.

By flaunting what she'll have,
And with that my heart will be stoled,
With a ramp-model like flamboyance,
When she'll flash her beautiful soul.

A Salute to Mumbai

2006-07-14T07:33:00.000-07:00

Of green, white and saffron,
You choose to paint me red.
And I stared into the dying eyes of,
Your sisters and brothers who bled.

But I wiped their tears,
And protected my child.
I gathered my pieces,
I have learnt to smile.

The cruelty and madness
Was visible all around
But yet we all saw,
The hope survived.

Broken and bruised,
But my spirit did not die.
The world moved on,
And so shall I.

Never felt more proud of being a part of this great city.Now someone try calling it the rudest city in the word.

It was really inhuman what happened on 11/7 but do remember our enemies are not Pakistanis or Osama or LeT....Its hatered.And if you feel hatered in your heart...its winning.Just give peace a chance.

An elated experience :)

2006-07-05T00:52:00.000-07:00

Few days ago I went to this Buddhist monastery situated in a mountain near coorg. It was an amazing experience being there. Most part of the monastery was made of gold and was full of giant idols of lord Buddha in a massive room

Just being there makes one realize that how small entity we are in front of this massive universe. I was very much influenced by being there and since my return, I had been doing lots of reading about Buddhism. Some of the teachings of Buddhism, specially Zen Buddhism are amazing. I am now just waiting for my college to start so that I can get my hands onto some more books(from our library) on this subject.

It was definately an elated experience for me, may be just what i needed.Here are some of the quotes of zen buddhism that i liked.

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.
Without them, humanity cannot survive.

Although gold dust is precious, when it gets in your eyes, it obstructs your vision.

If you wish others to know about your good deeds,
they are not truly good deeds.

If you fear others will find out about your bad deeds,
those are truly bad deeds.

Even offering three hundred bowls of food three times a day does not match the spiritual merit gained in one moment of love.

By amending our mistakes, we get wisdom.
By defending our faults, we betray an unsound mind.

All happiness comes from the desire for others to be happy.
All misery comes from the desire for oneself to be happy.

And you won't know even then !!!

2006-06-13T07:06:00.000-07:00

Some other day,Some other time,
We'll fall in love again.
And you won't know even then.

Some other day,Some other time,
I'll touch your heart again.
And you won't know even then.

Some other day,Some other time,
Our paths will cross again.
And you won't know even then.

And may be you will,
Spend this eternity in denial,
turning blind to the obvious,
the things that are ment to be.

Or may be,
some other day,some other time,
you will understand,
the meanings of my words.

My feelings,My trust,
The reasons i was always there,
The reasons why i always cared.

And you won't know even then,
what you ment to me.

Bangalore Times :)

2006-06-06T02:28:00.000-07:00

My last week in bangalore has been a really exciting one. Did so many things this week. Here is my week in a nutshell.

1) Went on a tour to ooty with friends. Was really an amazing place to visit at this time of the year.There were times in our journey when we were between the clouds. At one of the places,my shirt got wet with the dew-drops.It was one of the most beautiful sight i had seen.Drank a lot of famous ooty tea and eat lotsa home made chocalates :)

2) Went on a Blind date.Yes you read it right, a blind date.Met this friend of a friend through internet and after few days of e-mail exchanges,we decided to meet up in a chinese resturant nearby.She turned out to be a really georgeous girl,but somehow we didn't connected.I really don't want to go into details but in short,i am not calling her again(atleast not asking her out again)

3) Got into a pact.I got really pissed off by some of the things she(my blind date) did on our first date.Latter that evening i was chatting with one of my friend and we were discussing how both me and her are finding it difficult to find the right soulmate.And we decided to get into one of those stupid romantic movies kinda pact that if both of us are uncommited till june-03,2008 , I would propose to her and she would say yes.Dahh....i should stop watching so many romantic comedies :)

A sad irony of being an indian.

2006-05-30T04:17:00.000-07:00

An irony about the reservations.

I spent around 8-10 hours everyday for three years trying to improve myself to compete with the best and managed to reach a college which is amongst top 10 in the country, where as some of my friends,who at that time were just loafing around, enjoying life are in better college than me despite of getting one-sixth marks of what i got, only because they belong to a certain caste.

And they are supposedly under-privileged people and me a suppressor of their rights.

PS: Edited to add the following link: Click here
Just read the experience of a fellow OBC guy at IIT on how the reservation is actually increasing casteism instead of removing it.

Unpredictable life

2006-05-17T02:23:00.000-07:00

It has been more than 15 days in bangalore.And my life is goin pretty cool here.I am being designated as a consultant in my project and am also working as one...boleto minimum input with maximum output.I also went for trekking at a pace called coorg this weekend.Was fun and a welcome break from this seemingly busy city.

Well yesterday...while browsing through orkut profiles,i came across a really touching thing.I saw the profile of a person who is now nomore.What really touched me was the fact that there was a girl who was still writing him scraps....telling him about her day and how much she misses him each day.

And latter in the evening,I buzzed a friend of the guy in the profile on messenger and came to know that he died in a road accident few months back.The girl who was still scrapping him was the best friend of that guy.

It once again showed me how unpredictable life is.We make plans...we all do but noone knows what fate has planned for us.Also,after your death,people would not remember you for what you were but only for who you were.

I am not posting the link of that profile because i didn't wanted people to disturb his peace after his death.And btw...that girl is also a blogger and i have left a comment on her blog.Lets see if she responds.

A Final Goodbye

2006-05-06T04:21:00.000-07:00

Let's hold our hands and say good bye
To all thats been our reasons to cry
And let's forget the things that are done
As some days from now the earth will die.
Let's not think of the past again
For now we are, beneath the sky...

Let's kiss again and say good bye
To sad stories of the weeping sky
Let's forget that we ever have to part
For all shall part with time gone by.
And let's call life, the time we have
And when we part we'll say we die...

Let's love this day,the days ahead
With roses of white, pink and red
We share the love we have so loved
We know we'll love till we are dead.
So,Just live and wait till our time is up
Then smile with love and say good bye...

Heaven is where home is...

2006-04-24T12:25:00.000-07:00

Pheww...finally the exams are over.The last day of my this term exam was a bit extra special.This is because finally i am a half-MBA.And i must admit that although i lost interest in classes and books many months ago,but i did learned a lot from this course.And most of my learning happened outside the class,mostly in organizing those college events and working(or in some cases trying to work)as a team.

I am also now back home.And once again i have fallen in love with my home.I have always felt that i am a very lucky person and Whenever i come back home,i start feelin that i am the luckiest person in this world.I belong to a typical,big joint punjabi family,and the greatest part about mine is that everyone actually loves and cares for eachother.

There is always possitive energy flowing in my family.The best part about living in such a family is that you never feel alone.There is always someone to talk to,some one to play with,someone to guide you,tell you stories about your culture and most importantly,someone to hold you when you fall.And man you must see the vibrant energy here during festivals and weddings and with two marriages of my cousions slotted this december,can already see the fun i am goin to have this year end.

I know that with the career path i am choosing,it would not be possible for me to stay here always,but wherever i live,i would always feel good knowing that i am a part of such a family.Afterall heaven is where the home is,isin't it?

Mirage

2006-04-17T11:55:00.000-07:00

She was happy about her face,
She was happy about her life,
untill one day when she realised,
That in this world even mirror tell lies......

A known stranger.

2006-04-08T13:31:00.000-07:00

Today in the morning i got a call from a person i met in the hyderabad 18 months ago.She told me that she was gettin married next month and has called to invite me in her wedding.She also asked me for my postal address so that she can send me the card.

It was a real surprise for me because though we met eachother daily for 4 months,i hardly had any interection with her before.Infact i don't even remember giving her my local number there ,leave about my number now which had been changed thrice since then.

At first i thought it would be rude but anyways i asked her that we hardly know each other,and to be frank i don't even remember her properly,so how come she is inviting me to be the part of the most important day of her life.

She told me that she has been a regular visitor of my blog and she thinks she knows me good enough to invite me in her marriage.She also told me that she got my phone number form my blog.She said that she have mailed me a couple of times before and have chatted with me once in messenger.

And the whole picture got cleared.Actually i remembered getting some anonomyous mails from a person about a poem i wrote.I also remembered having a long 3 hours chat on messenger with someone in the night, regarding the poems that i write.

The good thing is that i am going to banglore next month,which is near to hyderabad and so have already decided to go and attend the marriage.I spent most of my day today thinking about that phone call.It was a really strange experience for me.Its really amazing how you can effect someones life without even knowing it.

To phonegirl : Thanks for the call and making my day. I wish you a very happy married life.May all your dreams come true.

A Silent Death ...

2006-03-27T08:51:00.000-08:00

I saw it in your eyes today,
a fear of being left alone.
I saw you searching for that love,
the love in your comfort zone.

So tell me what you are afraid of,
Are you afraid of holding my hand?
Cause this is love and you know that,
so please don't wait for magic wand.

I know you are hurting deep inside,
I understand your internal pain.
I know you are not like others,
But I want you just the same.

I can see its not perfection,
I can see it all through you.
Through every thought and emotion,
Through every little thing you do.

There is so much of you i already know,
And so much more i want to know.
So many things i want to tell you,
So many places i want to show.

I will patiently wait for you,
I will quitely wait for a sign.
And hope that somehow... someday,
You will magically be mine

And I hope you'll hold my hand,
And be with me till last breath.
And save my love from dying,
Once again a silent death.

Instant Karma...

2006-03-18T11:41:00.000-08:00

Life is strange.Its so full of surprises.And the strangest part is how sometimes a series of,what initially seems to be unrelated random events,in the end turns out to be a some sort of well planned linked roadmap to your destiny.

And then again...i ask my self...who is writing these stories of our life.....God?Destiny?Fate? Quite frankly i don't care but yeah i must say i am just happy to be right here,right now,right at this moment :) :) :)

Yes,i have once again started believing in fate and destiny.I have once again started believing that all things happens for a good reason.I have once again started believing in goodness of heart and karma.And the most importantly, i have once again started believing..............

The Rape of the Trust :((

2006-03-08T09:25:00.000-08:00

Recently the blogger community has taken a great initiative to bring out the often sweptin issues regarding the sexual harrasement of women.This initiative is called as Blanknoise Project.I have already written about the similar Issue in my blog before but am writing again for the great cause.I am not writing on the eve teasing and related issues as there are already many blogs covering it.I am instead bringing up another controversial and a very neglected issue of marital rape.My aim is just to spread awareness for the cause.This is my contibution to the great project.

The Marital Rape:

A women marries a man with some dreams.Dreams that the man will love her,pampers her with gifts,surprise her just to see a smile on her face,who will protect her from all the harms of the world but what if she needs to be protected from her own husband.

Rape is rape, regardless of the relationship between the rapist and the victim. It can be a total stranger; someone you recognise by sight, but have never really communicated with; someone you know superficially, a neighbour or a colleague; a friend, a boy-friend or a former boyfriend; a live-in partner, or a former partner; someone you are married to or have been married to in the past.

So what actually is a Marital Rape?
Marital rape is any unwanted sexual acts by a spouse or ex-spouse, committed without consent and/or against a person's will, obtained by force, or threat of force, intimidation, or when a person is unable to consent.

How is it different from stranger rape?
Stranger rape is usually a one-off, someone you don't know, with whom you don't share any experiences or history. When the assault happens, there can be no doubt as to what is happening: that it is Rape.In marital rape the circumstances are very different in the sence it leaves the victim very confused. It is - quite apart from a physical and sexual violation - a betrayal of trust. Here is a person whom you thought you knew intimately, with whom you share a history, a home and quite often children.

When it is the person you have entrusted your life to who rapes you, it isn't just physical or sexual assault, it is a betrayal of the very core of your marriage, of your person, of your trust.

How common are marital rape?
It was found on a recent survey in india that more than 1 in every 7 women who have ever been married, have been raped in marriage.And yet this issue is swept under carpet.

The worst part is that this henious crime is prevelent not only in rural,uneducated class,but also in so called "sophisticated" educated junta.I also think that this type of act is done by the man who are either very violent or an alcoholic.If a man is gentle,he would not want to hurt the woman in any way,weither it is emotional or physical.

I believe that marriage is a contract based on mutual love, consideration and respect. Both partners have a right to their own body, and while consideration for each person's sexual needs is normal, forced sexual acts are not. They aren't an expression of love. They are a purposeful betrayal of the respect and trust which form a solid marriage.

It is even worse in indian context.Many a time a girl is married off to a guy,without her consent and sometimes,she hasen't even seen the guy before marriage.So,isin't the concept first night sex in an arrange marriage is itself a rape???Also she has to sleep with her husband to get shelter and food from him.So isin't it a form of forced Prostitution???

I know i am raisng a controversial issue,but i do believe in it being unfair on women to give her body to a "complete stranger" whom her parents have choosen to be her life partner.And maximum justice that a woman being raped can get...if at all is a divorce.

It touches me more as a man when i see my sex responsible for such a henious crime on humanity.Some of these do makes me feel ashamed of being a man.I just wants to end my post with a few lines i wrote describing the picture that comes in my mind as i think of the marital rape.Its not a poem but what came to my mind as i thought about this issue.

Ashamed yet,ready to succumb,
the devil winning without a fight,
reflecting the textures of the scream,
shallowed as the dimming light.

The light of the devil's pleasure.
the naked lust trapped forever,
in the mirror and the madeness of the room,
no escae for her now from this devil.

The potrait of pain and agony,
carved of with a forbidden chiesel.
burning the skin,burning the soul,
the music is slowely cresending,
naked body wraped in the simphony,
the humanity loosing his face once again
just to satisfy a devil's pleasure.
Just to satisfy a devil's pleasure

Every woman has a right over her own body, Do not let it be violated.

Confidence for Quite...

2006-03-03T06:53:00.000-08:00

I am just returning from a local temple here at IIT.Its one of the nicest place in here.I go there atleast once a week.And no i am not a very religious person.

Infact as most of you might be already knowing,i am an atheist.Yup i don't believe in God.I also have nothing against people who believes in God.

I am more of a spritual kinda guy then a religious one.I do believe that there is a supreme Power guiding us all and i respect that Force.I respect It by enjoying the life provided by It.I also tries to let everyone live their life as they wants to without interfering.

Then why do i visit temples/churches/mosques/gurudwaras?
Well i find peace there.I think these are the best places for introspections.I just go there,sit for an hour or so and comes back rejuvenated to start enjoying my life again.Thats just my way of saying thankyou to the One.

**********************************************************************************

You know,sometimes it takes a lot more courage to be quite and listen then to shout.Isin't it?

The poet in me !

2006-02-24T11:30:00.000-08:00

I had a very poetic week.I wrote around 20 odds poems in last 15 days.I think it was one of those phase where you just like to do what you like to do.Like sometimes you just like to play guitar for a month and then abandon it for the whole year,or on months where you just listen to one song and then forgets about it for some years.

But anyways i do think i had a bit too much of poetry.I know its one of the most beautiful way of expressing ones thought but i was writing poems in the nite before my toughest of exams.Also i had actually started rhyming in all the conversations that i was having.

This is one of the email exchanges i had with one of my friend:

She said:

Blah...blah....blah....Love is the most beautiful thing in life....i think your decision not to fall in love again is wrong.....

Me said:

blah...blah...blah for 30 odd lines (in short:"yeah,whatever")And as far as love is concerned:

I need love,
but of another kind,
love that doesn't hurt me,
love that don't make me blind.

I need love,
love that will stay around,
love that will leaves me never,
never with a hurted wound...
ya i need lovee....

I have now decided to take a break from poetry for atleast a month....will write songs instead(just kiddin)

The Wharton Returns :) :)

2006-02-18T08:50:00.000-08:00

About a week ago,when i opened my door in the morning i found this cute puppy lying near the college dustbin,searching for some food.I picked him up and brought it in my room.He was cold and hungry so i bought a pack of biscuits and feeded him.

After that for about a week,he followed me wherever i went.It reminded me of that hutch dog(wherever you go our network follows).I have named him "Wharton" as a tribute to one of my friend here ;).

Every morining,afternoon or evening,whenever i opened my door,i found him there licking my feet and asking for food.I have even kept a pack of biscuit in my room to feed him.He was the cutest thing i had seen in the IIT campus(girls included).

But for last 2 days,he disappeared.And the strange thing was that i was feeling bad without seeing him near my room.I was worried thinking weither he would have eaten or not.I actually went out in the campus this evening to search him.

And just now Phooka told me that "Wharton" has been roaming around freely in the fifth floor of our hostel probably playing with some new friends he made there.

Dahhhh....Dogs are stupid.But i am happy to find that he is ok.

PS: Edited to tell everyone that Wharton has become quite famous in my hostel building.Now every one plays with him and pampers him..he is having a time of his life here :) :)

Difference between two cultures

2006-02-11T00:33:00.000-08:00

Got this in my email...It depicits the difference between the way we percieve Love in two different worlds.

My PR Team !

2006-02-06T07:36:00.000-08:00

I was browsing through net and found this photo.It reminded me of my PR team.LOLz...

The Left one is Nikita always confused and busy doing stuffs,i am my self(and i think even she is) not sure what.

The Right one is Megha,always giving me a cute smile everytime i look at her.

Avneet is as usual missing from the scene,with no one knowing where she is.

And the middle one is me,crying out loud,as irritated as one could be,but also the CUTEST of the lot :):):)

LOL....ROFLMAO............

Thankyou God..................

2006-01-29T12:27:00.000-08:00

I wrote this just an hour ago.I just got kicked(aka Bumps) by all my class mates and am not in condition or mood to modify it or make grametical or spelling correction.Man my ASS hurts.....

Dear God thank You for this wonderful day,
Thank You a lot for showing me the way,
For saving me from darkness and taking me to light,
And giving me the wisdom to know whats wrong and right.

Thank You for giving me the best mother ever,
For all the love she gave which i'll forget never,
For a Father like Friend,who loved me the most,
And for angels like sisters about whom i always boast.

Thank You for making this world as beautiful as it is,
And thank You for all your love and your wonderful bliss,
Thank You for all the laughter and all the smile,
Thank You for all the bits and peices and all whiles.

Thank You for all the suffering and all the pain i got,
Now i know why You did that and what You want to taught,
It was that time when I learned to never give up,
So i am thankfull to You for even all the times that suck.

Thank You for making me what i am and all i got,
Thank You for giving me more than i can thought,
So,dear God thank you for showing me the way,
Thank You for what i am on my this birthday.

Tagged..............

2006-01-26T14:08:00.000-08:00

I have been tagged....
Although i hate being tagged because i like writing whatever i like but i think i will enjoy this one.
Thanks Rathna for tagging me...

Here are the rules:
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they�ve been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there�s no need to post again.

Sex of lover : Female

Here are the eight points about my perfect lover:

1.She should be a really nice hearted person.Actually this is the most important point for me and can fill up the number 1-99 in my requirement list.I won't care even if she is the dumbmest or the ugliest person in the world as long as she has the nicest of heart.

2.She should be romantic.And by this i mean showing me her love in all small-small things she does,like calling me up just to say the 3 words or holding my hand when we walk or sleeping in each other's arm while watching an old romantic musical....

3.Communicate.She should share all her thoughts and feelings with me.I myself believe in speaking out my mind and would want her to be the same,specially with me.

4.She should have a very Charming smile.

5.She should be mentally very strong and would be ready to takeon the whole world for me.(she can expect the same from me too).

6.She should be very possitive in nature.

7.She should Love me unconditionally.She should love me not only in good times but also in my bad times like when i am down or when i had a bad day and am sounding like the most irritating person in the world.

8.She should be my best friend.

Here are my 8 victams:
1.Phooka
2.Avi
3.Rawhl
4.Rohit Talwar
5.Arvind
6.Sachin
7.Manpreet
8.Alive_and_Confused
Enjoi....

A wish from a falling star !

2006-01-19T10:59:00.000-08:00

Last night i saw a falling star.
The wish i made is to be where you are.

To lie right there next to you.
And hoping that your love is true.

For so long I've waited for the night.
Where I'd hold you so close and so tight.

When I closed my eyes,I can see.
That you're my real, true destiny.

But soon I realized that I'm flying too high.
Dreams are temporary and soon it will die.

Soon I have to come back to reality.
And see what i wished was not ment to be.

For this world i wanted is just a fake.
And i know my heart will always ache.

The Marathon

2006-01-16T08:09:00.000-08:00

I had been quite busy these past few days.And this was not doing nothing type of busy ;)...Infact had a lot of physical and mental work to do this week.

We(my college) are comming out with our placements reports quite soon.So being a member of my PR team,i had a lot of work to do this weekend.I spend most of my time either mailing to the media person or talking with them in the phone.

I also participated in the Mumbai-Marathon this sunday.It was an amazing experience.Almost the whole mumbai was present there.I got to see some of the prominant and well known personalities and stars.I saw for the first time what is called as the "True mumbaian spirit".So many people comming out of their home and making their contribution to society.It was an electrifying experience for me.

What drawed my attention most was seeing a person in clutches running for the good cause.I had taken many pics there but am pasting only this picture here.It was really inspiring to see him run with all the people around him clapping and cheering for him.

I ran the 7km Dream Run race this year.But i had made up my mind to run atleast the half-marathon(21 km) next year.Weither i succeed or not is another matter but i must salute the Spirit of Mumbai that i saw today....

Mumbai Rocks!!!!!!!!!!

Missing Someone

2006-01-12T11:44:00.000-08:00

Today while sitting on my Marketing Class i realize that when you miss someone really special,you miss them the most when you are surrounded by the crowd of people rather than when you are alone.I used to think just oppsite as true.

But what i felt is that it doesn't matter that you have a hundreds or thousands of people around you,the absence of that one person pinches you like anything.......

Am i correct,or just reverse is more true.

Meeting the Past

2006-01-08T00:52:00.000-08:00

Last week a strange thing happened.I met one of my school mate here in mumbai.I was standing on a petrol pump when she called my name.I was surprised to see her after almost 7 years and that too here in mumbai miles away from my home town.I was also surprised by the way she was sounding so nice and friendly or even at just the fact that she even remembered my name.

I remember i never used to get along with her.She was the most beautiful girl of my class or probably even of my school and was very arogant person.Almost the whole class hated her then.But last week when i saw her,she looked very different.She had gained a lot of weight and had so many marks on her face,although still had the same charming smile which made somany boys fall for her in school.She was carrying a baby boy of about 2 years age.

She was extraorinarily nice to me at the petrol pump.She told me that she has moved to mumbai and is now living at some place near kurla.I have heard that she was married to a guy one year senior to me in my school.I hardly had any interaction with her in my school and none at all after that.

In evening when i called one of my friend at raipur,he informed me that the guy to whom she was married,against the consent of her parents,has left her and her child for another girl.Her parents then decided to move out from raipur due to fear of what people of society will say.

When i heard that i felt so sorry for her.I would be lying if i say that she was the nicest or even a good person as i know her but then also i think no one deserves to be treated like this.I was feeling guilty that i didn't even asked for her contact number when i talked to her for almost half an hour.I could have atleast given her some comfort by just being her friend or even listening to her.
Am also seriously thinking now,Is there anything like LOVE left in this world????

I do ! ! !

2006-01-04T01:05:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a very hectic day for me.Was the first day of my second semester and so feeled extra tired specially after all those sleeping i had done in my holidays.Also in night i was somehow unable to sleep.I tried sleeping but got up at 2 am and felt like writing something.I wrote these lines last night .Its more of thoughts then poem.

Do you know how it feels to be silently in love
With someone you can never have?
Someone who is so close you can touch her hand
Yet, so far to touch her heart.

Do you know how it feels to lived in pretense
Quietly loving without any condition?
Having a feeling of love that's unknown to world
Hiding it, not knowing for how long.

Do you know how it feels falling deeply for someone
Loving the person unconditionally?
But somehow so afraid to say what you feel that
You act normal, keeping things still.

Do you know how it feels to be hurt unintentionally
Having to put on a smile,pretend to be happy?
But deep inside you're in pain and suffering but
jolly and laughing outside.

But then again,
Do you know how it feels to make a fresh start,
Knowing that you are strong enough?
knowing that you will always miss that person but also
Knowing that you deserved better anyways.

Do you???Because I do.

You Got Mail :) :) :) :)

2006-01-02T06:22:00.000-08:00

Today i had nothing much to do.So i watched You Got Mail again on my laptop.I donno when i am going to get over this movie.I had watched it over 50 times and even remembers all the dialogs of the movie but somehow always finds myself glued to my chair whenever i watch it.

"You Got Mail" is a 1940 remake of "The Shop Around the Corner." The film stars Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan as two people who dislike each other. One (Hanks) is running a mega book store, while the other (Ryan) is running a small bookstore that's being theatened by the mega bookstore.

What i liked the most in the movie is the enchanting chemistry of Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks.Its even better than that of couples 80's classic "SleepLess in Seattle".Meg ryan with her seraphic beauty in this movie somehow makes everyone wanna fall in love again.I Just love every bit of that movie.Hope they start making more movies like it.

My classes are starting from tomorrow.Although i had a blast these holidays but i must admit,i missed my classes very much.Its really amazing how much fun you can have in your classes even in PG.Will be ready with my camera from tomorrow and hopefully will catch some more Sleeping Beauties ;)

The Last Post of The Year

2005-12-29T10:34:00.000-08:00

Well,the year 2005 is finally ending.Phew.. it has been a mixed year for me more tilting towards bad than good.But am really glad i finally saw it through.

I was never a fan of celebrating newyear day as such.Afterall its just a random point on the earth's rotational orbit around the sun(yeah i am an engineer ;)).But am surely going to celebrate this year.And with the year like this i must.

But not going on details,i must say,i learned a lot from this year.Its really amazing the things you could learn when your life is in mess and its even more amazing the confidence you get after fighting out of all those seemingly unending agony.

These are few things that life taught me this year:

1)Your family is your biggest Asset.
They are the people who would be with you when you really need someone.

2)All bad times end.
When you are down and sees no light,remember that time will somehow pass by to bring a better tomorrow.You just need to hang on

3)Never let a single mistake destroy your life.
If you make some bad choices in life,there is always time to correct it.If you let it ruin your life,then you are making a bigger mistake.

4)In the matter of heart and mind,don't waste time.
You will regret whatever decision you makes in that situation.So better make any logical choice and stand by it,with both your heart and mind.

5)When someone breaks your heart,It grows up double in size.
You are never out of love.If someone can't appreciate your love,move on.Don't waste something as precious as your love to someone who don't deserve it.

6)Marriage is the single most important decision of your life.
It is far more crucial decision than buying a car or a house or making your career(in which we spend so much time),so do invest a good amount of time in making that decision.

7)Nice things happens to nice people.
I know not many people would agree with me but i have always believed in this motto and once again life showed me the same.

8)A good sence of humour with a geniuine smile is the best quality you can have.
Have guts to laugh at yourself,and there will be nothing you can't do.Also smile at your biggest fear,it will dissappear like a chimera.

9)Last but probably the most important learning from last year is that always choose IceTea to ColdCofee when you go to CoffeeShack in the class Break.Its good for health with no caffeine,moreover your shirt will not get stain when it spills.

Cheers and Happy New Year to all of you.Signing off for the last time in year 2005.

My Life this week

2005-12-26T08:36:00.000-08:00

Last week i went to attend one of my cousin's marriage. It was in a small village called takhatpur,with no internet and not even mobile working there.Was a really weird experience to be there for 4 days without hearing the tone of my mobile.

The groom besides being my cousin is also one of my close friend and so I attended the marriage as one of his Sarvalla(punjabi word for BestMan).And I must admit that I had a blast there. I got to meet so many of my old relatives but the best part was all the punjabi kudis present there for the marriage ;)

I also saw an entirely different side of india.Life at village is so much different from one that I live.Its a life with no pressure, no worries about all the senceless things that we do here,life with peace and specially life where your neighbours(by which i mean ur whole village) is like your family.

I also learned a very important lesson of life.My cousion who got married was not very educated.But he is one of the most amazing person i had known.He is so good in dealing with peoples,had a great sence of humour and most importantly one of the nicest heart.

On the other hand i also know a highly educated person(who was also present there),who is probably one of the worst person i know.Seeing both of them present there together really opened my eyes from one of my misconception.

I actually always wanted a highly educated girl as my soulmate.But there at that very moment i realized that its not the education but the heart that really matters.Ones happiness depends not on your IQ but you LQ(love quiotent)i.e. your ability to love everyone and to be happy even at the most desperate situation.

Only downside of the trip was that i had a small accident there and so now had to postpone my returning to mumbai for some more days.But then again i can enjoy the comfort of my home for some days more.So every dark cloud does have a silver lining :)

Marrying,for the sake of it!!!

2005-12-18T11:24:00.000-08:00

Time : Around 7 pm
Location: Somewhere near the airport road.

Me and Rahul were roming around in my bike when his phone rang.He told someone in phone that he is comming there immediately and when he disconnected,i asked him,who was that?

He: "Ghar se phone tha,Ladki wale aye hai mujhe dekhne,jana hoga ghar."
Me(in shock): "Abe teri shadi ho rahi hai,bataya nahi tune."
He: "Hann yaar,ab umar bhi to ho gayi hai,yeh teesra rishta aaya hai"
Me: "To saal bhar mein tu bhi........"
He: "Nahi,agar pasand aa gayi to 1-2 mehine mein shadi ho jayegi"

I dropped him at his house and returned to mine.But that conversation with him left me cold.Also one of my couison is gettin married this sunday.He may be physically ready but i really doubt weather he is mentally prepared for this marriage.I mean he is such a prankster,always doing something naughty,now suddenly will have a wife to take care of.

He is of my age so is Rahul.So am i next?????

Frankly speaking,i am a big commitophobic.I am scared to death of commitments.I remembered my first proposal.After proposing to the girl,when i returned to my friend's house,I vomitted of fear.I am not kiddin,I actually vomitted and felt suffocated for more than 3 hours.I was afraid.But this fear was not that of rejection,I was afraid of a yes.This is perfect,the girl of my dream,beautyfull and intelligent,almost sure of saying yes,and i was afraid of what i would do if she says yes???Why did i proposed???How will i react if she wants to marry me???What sould I do now???These were the questions poping contineously in my mind.

And although i had changed a lot since then but still a bit sceptical about commiting,specially to a complete stranger.And then again I should be.

I mean should i get married just for the sake of getting married.Its really sad reality of indian society that marrige has become a sort of obligation rather that choice.The moment you hit a age of 23-24(even lower for girls),everyone starts seeing you differently and this continues till you are sacrificed.

This really is sad part of being an Indian.I was always of this thought that gettin married is one of the most important decision of life and this should be left to the person himself to decide the right time and partner.It should not be govern by the ideology that "everybody does that at this particular age,so you should also do the same".Every one has a different "Right Time" of commiting and this should be respected.

And as far as my right time is concerned,a friend once rightly said,"Don't worry,when the right time comes,you would automatically know".Yeah...... Whatever..... :)

2000 and still goin strong!!!!!!

2005-12-15T05:03:00.000-08:00

Another Brick in the Wall???

2005-12-12T06:03:00.000-08:00

Just a few days earlier i got my first sem result.I haven't checked it yet and didn't felt like doing it either.But a friend of mine informed me that i am getting 7.6 CPI in my first sem.Pretty good na specially when you compare it with the input i had put in(almost close to zero).

But then again it may be just about average score.And to be absolute honest,it made me worried for a while.I mean i had always been this happy go lucky kinda guy specially as far as exams are concerned but somehow always managed to be among the toppers of my class.But then i realized that i am in IIT,the college where the best of the best aspire to be with.

And moreover i may have became just another Brick in the Wall but i am definately of slightly different shade of orange,and intend to be that way,always.

My CostAcc Paper!!!

2005-12-05T11:35:00.000-08:00

A case study without a case????

Thats cool. But just one doubt.

Where are the Fucking Cases??????

Bad choice for love.

2005-12-02T13:54:00.000-08:00

I sit here everynight just writing,
never knowing where to go.
I stay here starring blankly,
theres nothing left for me to show.

I hear the music just float around,
screaming out in endless pains.
I'll write a song, so just you wait,
i'll write it for the played games.

I'll write for some reasons,
but not the ones before.
I write for some reasons,
I don't know what I'm writing for.

I saw a star,once fall above,
it was not that long ago.
I didn't wish,I didn't know,
I didn't want to see you go.

I want to show you to the world,
take you dancing and everywhere,
Kiss your cheek to say I need you,
make you happy when your in despair.

Hold you close when u need somebody,
and take your hand when we walk.
To cry with you when you are in pain,
and listen to you when you wanna talk.

I didn't expect you to see me,
The way my heart wanted you too.
But was I that difficult to be with?
Was it toomuch that i asked from you?

I should have seen it coming,
I should have known of what u'd do.
But i was blinded once again,
and only thought that u'd be true.

My friends said it would happen,
but i just refused to see.
I never thought it would come true,
and look what have you done to me.

It sucks cause you are not sorry,
for hurting me and what you said.
But then i have to tell my self
it was just a bad choice i made.

I'll find some one to love again,
someone really true and fair,
someone who would value my love,
some one who would always be there.

A trip to remember!!!

2005-11-28T10:24:00.000-08:00

Last weak,I went for a trip to goa with some of my college buddies.And man was it fun.It was one of the best trip i had been to.We there experienced almost all things(and some more) that one can in a limited period of 3 days.I will remember this trip for so many small-small reasons.Some of them are:

1)Bob's massage.
I hope he gets IT soon.LOL

2)Martin
This dude approached us at International film festival promising us to provide "good quality" girls at cheap rate.Vaishnav has his number.Any one intrested in same can contact him.

3)Mangal pandey
This heavely drunk self acclaimed look-alike of a farago of mangal pandey and DCH amir khan met us at GOA.He was simply hilarious to talk to.He talked of himself asif he owned the GOA but was unable to help us in anyway.I'll remember his dialoge:"I here,why fear?"

4)The night at paradiso.
There's a club called paradiso which i think is mainly for hippies and druggies.But whatever that placed rocked.We went there and Rocked with the place.I danced my soul out till 3:30 am .
Paradiso ROCKS,Goa ROCKS,Somaites ROCKS.

5)Bhalla's journey:
Mumbai to Goa in 45 mins.Goa to hotel in 7 hours.
Cost wise:Mumbai to Goa in 220 rs.Goa to hotel for 500 rs.LOLz....

6)Makeover:
Out went Pagdi.In came pony tail.

7)Long walks on the beaches.

8)Rohit's obsession with photography.
This friend of mine,Rohit,used most of us a a guinea pig to take the photos of semi naked babes in Goa.We would stand there giving good poses latter to find out that we are not there in the photos.

9)6 B's of Goa:
Beaches,Booze,Bikes,Babes,Bhob and Balla.

10)Those fun games at the sea.

11)Small hiccups like running out of disel,tyre puncture,low battery.

12)Near death experience:
While returning back to mumbai some guy in a pulsar tried to stop our vehicle possibly with an intention to rob us and we have to hit him hard and run.Our sumo ran unbalanced for a good breath-stoping 30 secs.Yes my first hit and run case and my second near death experience.Definately scared me out.

13)Last but not the least: MATRIX
Possibly worst night club i had ever been to.For the first time in my life i felt aslept in a disco club with loud music.

Of course there were somany other small-small incidences and events like our visit to casino,stopages for lunchs,breakfasts etc,visiting the fort,seeing the shooting of a C-grade movie named GAME etc.

In short Goa trip was something which would bring a smile to my face,even after years , when i would think about it,or watch the photos.Was definately a trip to remember.

The worth of life.

2005-11-19T12:19:00.000-08:00

Yesterday a guy in IIT commited suicide.It was a shocking news.It made me think and reminded me once again that how unpredectible life and people can be.That guy use to live on the same hostel as i,took his lunch,dinner at the same mess and probably sometime at the same table with me.And yet no one can tell what was goin through his mind.

This is not the first time that i heard the word "suicide" and trust me although this time,for a change,i didn't knew the victam but i felt equally sorry for him and more so for his family.He may have freed from whatever pain he was goin through but had left a permanent scar in the life of his parents.I am telling this from personal experience,It SUCKS big times when u hear that someone whom u care about has tried to end his/her life.

Moreover i don't think there is any reason in this planet to take such extreme step.No matter how much ur life sucks(and it sometimes does) or U think it sucks,there is always something better in store for the future.I have heard somewhere that "suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem" and it is so true.No problem is permanent which cannot be overcame.

I think the main problem is that people sometimes just forget(or ignore) all the good things they have in life and just whine about all things that they don't have.Even i had same problem few years back.But with all the good and bad experiences that i had with this thing called life, i have learned to count my blessings and not my curses.And i think thats the way one should live his/her life.

I found this poem in the website of an NGO supporting the homeless people.Its a lovely poem written by someone on the way whe usually forgets how lucky we are.Donno about others but i do feel lucky to be what i am today.Heres the poem:

Today upon a bus I saw a girl with golden hair;
she seemed so gay, I envied her,
and wished that I were half so fair;
watched her as she rose to leave,
and saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and wore a crutch,
but as she passed - she gave a smile.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine;
I have two legs - the world is mine.

Later on I bought some sweets.
The boy who sold them had such charm,
I thought I'd stop and talk awhile.
If I were late, it'would do no harm.
And as we talked he said, "Thank you, sir,
you've really been so kind.
It's nice to talk to folks like you
because, you see, I'm blind."
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine;
I have two eyes - the world is mine.

Later, walking down the street,
I met a boy with eyes so blue.
But he stood and watched the others play,
it seemed he knew not what to do.
I paused, and then I said,
"Why don't you join the others, dear?"
But he looked straight ahead without a word,
and then I knew, he couldn't hear.
Oh, God forgive me when I whine;
I have two ears - the world is mine.

Two legs to take me where I go,
two eyes to see the sunset's glow,
two ears to hear all I should know,
oh, God, forgive me when I whine;
I'm blessed, indeed, the world is mine.

I hate ExAmS

2005-11-15T04:47:00.000-08:00

This is what i am feelin like doing today.

Some Random Thoughts

2005-11-13T11:00:00.000-08:00

You know whats common between Engg and MBA college???
The rumer that the result is comming out this evening.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just a thought: Men grows.Women evolves.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today i typed the word "Failure" in the google search and seeing the first result just couldn't stop laughing.LOLz....... ROFLMAO...............

PS:And i say i have no time to study.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yesterday i saw a guy in the canteen wearing T-shirt with msg "I hate Girls".But i doubt weither he was trying to say that he is Gay ;) .

BTW it takes exactly 86 steps to reach canteen from my room.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last wednesday during our communication presentation,someone told that there is no 'I' in word 'TEAM'.Well but what he forgot is that there is a 'M' and a 'E'.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does a fish says when it hits the wall?
Ans: Dam

Forgive me!!!

2005-11-12T12:12:00.000-08:00

Found this in one of the discussion forum.

I believe i can fly(in my bike)

2005-11-10T10:18:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my communication presentation.We were told to prepare on anything that we are passionate about.Well that doesen't sounded that difficult initially but when i started thinking about it i was confused.

What am i passionate about????

There are so many thing in my life about which i am passionate.Some of them are

My life itself(Or as i say:Life as it is)
My family
T-shirts
My clothes
Food
Musik
Dancing
Love,romance
Poetry
My friends
My home
Roming around in my bike and of course
My studies(Just kiddin).

Anyways after some thought,i decided to give the presentation on my passion for dressing up.I just love dressing up everytime i go out.Made a good 12 slides ppt for it and was all set to deliever the goods.

But last night i started thinking about my engineering days and all the good and bad times i had.One thing i found common in all my memories,that was my bike.I calls her 1000 pie(yup not sweety or cutie pie but 1000 pie) coz her number is 3140 which is 3.14 * 1000.I remembered all the fun we(me and my freind/gf) had while roaming aimlessly at my home town.That were probably the best times of my life.

All who knows me would have guessed what i would have done next.Yes i changed my topic to My Passion plus.Some of my buddy told me not to select that topic as the marks are dependent on the crowd reaction and why any would be intrested in knowing about my bike(well they had a valid point).

But I wanted to speak about her.I said what the heck" i am doing it".By the night,I was too much tired(read lazy) to prepare a ppt again so just took a photo of her and pasted it on the slide.I also wrote a poem(my another passion) on my biking experience.Here its is:

Arms, hands, bars, knees,
Spinning wheels and passing trees.
Heart beats and tires sings,
Wind roars and the night swings.

I feel no pain,I feel no burn,
Still time to go another turn.
Mind is clear,the head is high,
Rolling speed and man do i fly.

Rushing blood, pumping vein,
All the worries gets out of my brain.
And thats the moment when i feel free,
I can even hear GOD speaking to Me.

When my turn came,I just went there to be my self.I thought about my life(all good and bad times) and just spoke my heart out.It was more of a extempore than a presentation.And guess what????I am one of the topper in the presentation class.To be frank i my self donno why i got the maximum marks but whos complaining.I also got a really good compliment from the faculty(well i took it as a compliment).

She told me not to go for technical job and join an advertising firm.Its not the first time that someone told me not to waste myself in technical feild but it felt good to hear the same from somone who has' been there done that'.Now i am evenmore so sure of not wasting my life on a 6 by 8 cubicle staring on a dumbo machine for 70 odds hours a week.Thank you mam.

The Unsaid Promises..........

2005-11-06T11:42:00.000-08:00

You said nothing..
but i heard it all..

You promised nothing..
but i waited for it all..

You gave nothing..
but i recieved it all..

You still have everything..
and im left with nothing at all ..

Things have changed but things were the same!

2005-11-06T06:30:00.000-08:00

Today i came back from raipur.Well had a really good diwali there.And with with so many of my friends present for festival there is no way i couldn't had a blast there.I had a nice time catching up the old friends and relatives.

I live in a Joint family.And trust me there is no way u can get bored in my family.I mean there is always something exciting to do or someone new to meet there.And with more than a dozen kids,present there,my diwali always ROCKS.I remember spending last diwali outside my city and it was a terible experience for me.I always believe that there is no better place to spend ur festival holidays than at ur home.Atleast for me it holds true.

Well while at home and roming around in my good old city,I realized one more thing.There can't be a better place to spend my life then raipur.It's such a great city with all the facilities of a metro without the sins like traffic jams and fast life.I always wanted a peaceful life and thats what i will get there.

I mean its ok to be ambitious and speak about career and shits but at the end of the day what matters is happiness and mine is there at raipur.I am now almost sure of returning back to raipur in 4-5 years.I also got a good news that our CM Mr.Raman Singh has convinced Infosys and Biocon to setup there centres at raipur.It was an ideal news for me as now i can afford to go back there without effecting my career.Even Vaibhav seems to have a similar plan.

Also what i noticed there is how much things had changed in this 4 months but how things were the same.

These are the changes i saw:
-Roads have become wider(ThankU Mr CM for this).
-Dressing sense of people are improving(ThankU God).
-Hair style(Mandy with a ponytail,Kirti with short up hair,Rahul finally cuttin his hair,Sonal goin for a boycut and Megha finally deciding to grow her hair and for once looked like a girl).

The followin things were same:
-People there still SMILES at strangers(Man i love raipur for that.U'll really appreciate it if u have to live in this city called Mumbai).
-The taste of old delicacie(Mathurawasi Chat,Jairam chowk Faluda,Nathhu Kulfi,Pav Bhaji Yummmmmm....y).
-Old friends.

Now let me talk about old friends(and i have a plenty of them at raipur).Although raipur has grown in boundry but its still a place where every one knows everyone.On my first day there i decided to meet one of my old friend and it took me 3 hours to cover 5 km not because of traffic but coz i have to stop every 100 odd meters to greet someone.This is also a great thing about the city.Most of my friends there are my friends for life.

I just wish that raipur grows up more in infrastructure a bit more(and it will in couple of years with already two Malls and a Multiplex under construction)and with the Warm Hearted people living there it will be the heaven on earth to live (atleast for me).Raipur(as erne once said in T-2)"I'll Be Back".

The Corporate Culture

2005-10-25T14:09:00.000-07:00

The corporate culture

Paitence:Love's greatest virtue!!!

2005-10-22T13:47:00.000-07:00

I wrote this a few days earlier alongwith the poem "still the one". It didn't came out as good as some of my other poems but didn't felt like modifying it(not because of lazyness).I will name it "Paitence".

An equal to me,
In every way.
Someone I can lookup to,
Every night and day.

Someone to talk to,
Someone to kiss.
Someone to spend days with,
Someone to miss.

To have this girl,
I can only dream.
For each one I've met
Is not what they seem.

Some have lied,
Some have cheated.
Some were shy,
Some conceited.

Of all my encounters,
I'have always searched through.
And I continue to look for,
The magical love that's true.

For the one whom i can cherish.
For the one whom i can see.
For the one whos destined to be
The only girl meant for me.

:) :) :) :)

2005-10-19T10:25:00.000-07:00

You know while i was gettin bored reading the fundaes of MIT i just noticed something.

I just noticed that in a keyboard of my laptop, the letters "W & E" and "I & U" are together.Coincidence?? Who cares.But it did brought a smile to my face :) .

I hate U???

2005-10-16T23:44:00.000-07:00

This is one of my all time favorite poem.I have always believed that a good poem must be full of emotions and this one surely says more than what is written in it.Its from the movie "10 things i hate about u".I just remembered this poem in one of our communication class where we are being taught to say "I hate U" to each other.Yup i am not kiddin.It happens only in SOM. We live in this world full of persons terrified to death of saying "I love U" and here we are all learning to say I hate U. SOM surely ROCKS.

Anywayz here's the poem.It was read by one of the female character of the film(can't recall her name)in her class who was cheated by the only guy she ever loved.I just loved the ending of the poem.

I hate the way you talk to me,
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick,
It even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right,
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
Even worse when you make me cry
I hate it when you're not around,
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you,
Not even close,not even a little bit,not even at all.

I wish i could also write a great poem like this some day.

Still the one

2005-10-13T12:25:00.000-07:00

Well today i had two lectures and i bunked both of them.I was not feelin well so decided to take some time out to sleep.The lectures sucked anyways and half(or more than half) of class slept through them.Only regret of not attenting the lecture is that today even some girls slept(insider info given by phooka) in the class so i missed out a lotsa creative photography oppurtinity ;).

Although i bunked the classes to sleep,I somehow was unable to.Isin't it funny(well strange would be more appropriate word) that u hear some lines of a song and it just goes on and on in ur mind.Well same thing happened to me last night and again this morning.I had heard someone singing "Still the one" by Shaina Twain few days earlier and it had been goin on in my head since then nonstopped.

So i got out of my bed at 9am(toooo early for a free day) and played the song on contineous loop on my good ol winamp.

Listening the song brought back some old memories and i started to write.I actually wrote two poems today(i wish i could study sometime also with same passion).I am posting one of them.It is inspired by the song "Still the One".So i will name it the same.

I loved you then,
I love you still.
Thinking of you
Still gives me a thrill.

I remember the day,
Seems so long ago.
Such an ordinary day,
But little did I know.

Just outside the workshop lab,
We met there by chance.
There was nothing special about it,
There was no romance.

I met a lot of Girls,
I thought they were all the same.
To be honest with you,
I didn't even remember your name.

Some days later you called for notes,
I didn't recognize you then.
I wasn't sure what to do,
But I wanted to meet you again.

I don't remember what happened,
But the days became weeks.
It's funny that you find love,
When love is not what you seek.

At some point I fell in love,
When I myself do not know.
It was very hard for me to tell you,
But was easy for me to show.

We're no longer together,
Something went really awry.
But I still think of you all the time,
Yes sometimes i still worry.

We may have broken up now,
Our relationship went downhill.
But no matter what has happened...
I loved you then,I love you still.

PS: Its an un edited version.I Know its very unevenly written poem but its life as it is.I will try to edit it sometime latter if felt like doin so.

Down side Up:Life as it could have been

2005-10-08T07:04:00.000-07:00

I got this one in mail today.Made me wonder how different our life could be if all the conventions are reversed.I just couldn't stop laughing.LOLzz....

It made me remember the corrs song:"Have u ever wonder being a movie star with popcorn in ur hand,I doo".Really funny and true stuff.

I wish................

2005-10-07T09:00:00.000-07:00

Well this had been a funny week(U know i have this talent of finding humour even in most screwedup situations).Here's what i have done last week.

Slept.
Confessed.
Hoped.
Slept.
Heartbroken.
Learned that life still goes on.
Slept some more.
Recovered.
Studied(i swear).
Slept again.
Slept some more.

I also completed two more pages of my book.Now i am hopefull of publishing it just after my PG(i.e.if i manage to clear it).I am also feelin demotivated towards my studies.Again why should i study anyways.I never wanted high paying/dollor salary stressful job where u have this pseudo sence of self accomplishements not realizing that u are missing so much in life.

I mean there is so much to life than beeing the 9 pointer in ur class or learning how to calculate the inscructable double annova.I know if i want i could also be there in top but i never wanted that.I have also passed the phase in my life where u do something just to prove ur point to someone.

What do i want?I want to be my self.I want to tell peoples whom i loved that i love u without beeing judged.I want to see thing and learn things.I want to be there to see the begining and to watch the ending.I want all the pleasures of life and some more.Heres a poem(if u can call it one) that describes what i really want.

I wish I could be truly free,
with no need for anxiety.

No pain,
no chain,

No lies,
no knowledge of the pain of good-byes.

No fears,
no need to be like my peers,

No brightness,no shades,
no sensless running after the grades.

No regrets,
no need to follow someone else's tenets,

No social norm,
no rules which I have to conform

No comparisons,
no need to defend myself or my actions.

No remorse,
no pressure to follow pre-determined course.

No one who expect u to be there,
no regrets of showing someone that u care.

No jealousy,
no hypocrisy,

No guilt of wrong things said or done,
no need to answer to self or someone.

I wish I could be truly free,
But I don't think I ever will be :(

<

1000!!!

2005-10-03T05:29:00.000-07:00

ALOHA

Today my counter passed 1000

1000 and still

goin strong.

Man i am famous ;)

The Rumors

2005-10-02T08:20:00.000-07:00

Give me strength to speak my mind,
What I have felt for so long.
Yes... the rumors are true,
Yes... I have a crush on you.

I have watched you from afar,
Aah those lovely eyes and those short hair.
I wish i had courage to hold ur arm,
I wish i could tell u that i need u there.

I saw u sleeping, as an innocent child,
with ur lips so touchy and ur heart so mild.
I wanted to tell u that I think you should know,
I wanted to tell u that I think I'm falling for you.

It's not easy for me to explain,
It's not even easy for me to say.
It's not that I am afraid of love,
It's that everyone thinks of love a different way.

All I want is to Steal your heart,
To stay with u there ,to never be apart.
The rumers can't be true,now i am sure,
coz crushes are temporary only love can be so pure.

Ups and down of lifes

2005-09-18T13:19:00.000-07:00

Finally my exams are over.But i don't wanna talk bout it till the results are out.I am also not in mood now.This day has been a really weird one.I was feelin so high in the morning.But in afternoon i was not feelin alright.Again felt ok in the evening.Went to marine drive with couple of friends and watched good ol Forest Gump at night.

I donno why i feel so sad remembering old times,be it good or bad.I mean i know they are gone and will never buzz me again but i donno why?

Again is it only me or does this mixed bag of emotions day happens to everyone.

have you ever felt so strongly at a particularly glorious moment that you have never felt happier in your life? that you know it in your heart of hearts that this is it. this is what you want for now and ever.

have you ever looked at your friends around you and felt such affection and warmth that you vowed that time and tide would only make your friendship grow stronger, that in the years to come, you'd sit down and relive the good ol days. that your friendship would remain unchanged for the years to come for ever and ever.

have you ever felt such fierce love and pride when you look at your family around you that you wished that you would be born in this same family again, and always.

have you ever felt so passionately about something it made you burn? something so noble and ideal, so right? your life's calling, your dream.

and then

have your ever felt that your heart was breaking into a million pieces and that you would never be the same again?
have you ever lost a friend or love to time with circumstances changing? have you ever felt alone in a crowd?
have you ever looked at somebody you loved so dearly and felt like you're looking at a stranger?
have you ever felt disillusioned and lost and confused and not know what's important to you anymore?

but then again

have you ever felt so at peace when your outside world is falling apart. and you just know deep inside of you, that nothing matters that much. a litle faith that's all you need.

Do u??????

PS:I donno why i am posting all these craps but when i made this blog i decided to be truthfull to it and this is the way i feel somedays.

Be Koool...........

2005-09-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

I will need this one before my Eco Exam

Another day in paradise

2005-09-02T05:53:00.000-07:00

The life has surely become busy here.U have so much to do always that u don't even know where to began.And my priorities are definitely SCREWED-UP.I mean here I am writing once again in my supposedly useless blog with two odd regular visitors when I was supposed to do following:

-Decide on my OB project name -I think every one else has already started and some even finished the project.
-Help my team mates in stat project-I bet my life that Nikita,Arvind and group really hates me.
-Think about FinAc project(a world class project-U'll agree with me).
-Call up some Marketing dude in DNA for media sponsorship.
-Fill up my placement company profile form.
-Bring my BIKE from station (man I am really lazy) and above all
-Open some book and TRY to study for my endterms.

In short my life is as my life is supposed to be.I am doing what I want to do and planning to screw the system to be able to survive here.

Yesterday I had my OB quiz.I did well in that(atleast till i can get result i can claim that).In my last quiz,i was expecting ZERO(or even lower if possible).But to my surprise,57 out of 61 in my class got ZERO.So we are having a retest next week.Also in today's Stat test i think i did ok,atleast ok compared to what otherguys are saying.Many of them screwed up pretty badly.
Anyways i am not that much worried about the result.Afterall i never came here to study how to find means and shits of loads of seemingly useless data.I really doubt if any one of us will ever use what we are studying in stats in real biz world unless of course someone gets into teaching or research related job.

My only worry is survival.Or should i say was survival.Now i am sure i would be able to notonly survive but also succede in what i planned.Amen.....

Life@SOM-Initial impression

2005-08-30T10:15:00.000-07:00

It has been really long since i last updated my blog.Partly it was because my room's LAN(yes i am in IIT) is not working but mainly because i didn't felt like writing all these days.But donno why today,just two day before OB and Micro quiz with absolutely no perpration,i am feelin like jotting down my experiences again.I never cared about my grades ever so its no surprise either.Any ways today i will try to cover most of the things happened to me in these one months at SOM.

I had always heard about the tough life of MBA colleges but now i really wonder was it all crap.I am almost having the time of my life here at SOM.My classes are from 8:30am to 12:30pm with sat and sun holidays.Also the subjects are not that tough either(though MIS is still as boring as it was in my engg).We have no acaedimic preassure here(atleast for me who don't care about grades).

So, i am participating in lotsa club activities.Have joined Martrix(marketing club),Sys club,Avenues event team,PR-team and E-cell.I am really enjoying all these activities here.I will also help in organizing our guest lectures event popurlarly called as dikshas and continums.

Most of my batch mates are also very cool.Have some nerdy guys(&girls) here too but they are in real minorty.As expected the batch is also highly talented but i had no problem fitting in as i was initialy worried before comming here.Infact i think i fitted in the group pretty well.

I Made many new friends here.Had a good time with guys like Vaishnav,Rahul,Rohit,Vaibhav,Pradipto,Megha,Nikita and many others.I have learned some new stuffs here too.Learned to play TT(Atleast tried to learn) and ofcourse dancing.
I danced for almost 3 hours in my freshers party and also last week learned some SALSA.Actually there is always some cultural activities going on in IITB.I read about SALSA night and asked Megha to be my dancing partner.Megha is one of my highly talented class mate.On contrary to what other people here believe i found her really cute.Also on contrary to others,I found her nice too.Yes she seems to be capricious,but i found her to be a geniune person.I donno why so many guys hates her.

Anyways i had a really good time dancing with her.I thought we made a really good dancing couple.I have a snap of us dancing.Will try to post it after taking her permission.

Also despite of not paying any attention to my studies,I think i am doing pretty well so far.Have scored 13/25 in Eco(In which i could have so easily scored more) and yesterday got 8/10 on stats with just two hours of hard work with guys studying for days getting less than me.But i really doubt i could mantain the consistancy with this minimal hardwork.Who cares either.Though i am enjoying the case studies and some really fundoo concepts in Eco and Stats.Atleast it doesnot SUCKS as much as my engg subjects did.

My batch is also varied with age group from 23(though vaibhav looks 16) to 29(ravindra-we call him uncle).Most of the guys have good workx mainly in IT companies like Infy and TCS.There is one married girl(divya) and one guy about to get married in december this year.

Have to finish the post here.Planning to go upstairs to play TT.Will continue some time latter.

Countdown to SJMSOM-2 days to go

2005-07-17T03:46:00.000-07:00

Two days latter i am leavin for mumbai.I will be joining SJMSOM there.And to be absolutely frank,i am a bit nervous.I know that i am good enough to be in that college but then also i am feelin a bit jittery about going there with some of the brightest minds in the country.

I am also feelin kinda sad.This is because i will be leaving raipur forever.I mean i know that my roots are here and i would be visiting this place throughout my life but then also i am feelin kinda sad.

I have virtually spend my whole life here and could relate to this place so much.I am definately a raipurian.Now how do u know that u are a raipurian(chattisgadian or for that matter).

Here are a few things tat define a Raipurian

1.U get up at 11 in the mornin and remark "Aaj jaldi uth gaya"

2.Your address reads as 23-404-32/67A-43,while you actually live in the second house beside Girdhari PCO in lane behind Satkar hotel on Station Road Road.

3.You know atleast 6 different roads named station road.

4.Your street has at least one roadside mobile hotel that serves Chinese delicacies such as "Vegetable soft needles", "Navrotten Kurma","Chicken Manchewurea" or "American Chompsee".All for 15 bucks.

5.Your answer is 'seedha chale jao' when somebody asks you for directions,whether it is to MG Road,Jaisthamb chowk,GE road,Tatya para or Medical college road.

6.You come across tailors sporting the board:Immediate delivery in two days only.

7.You can speak Hindi and Hinglish fluently and think u speak damn good english

8.You ask the waiter to get you some 'Mango pickle' even if you are sitting at a lavish continental banquet dinner.

9.You order for a tea just after having had a Caramel custard.

10.You have at least one Rahul or Sanjay or Sunil that u know and atleast one who lives near ur house.

11.You have atleast one cousion who is in pune(called Puna) doing his/her MBA to finally get married or join his father business.

12.Everytime somebody gives you a piece of good news, the first thing you ask them is 'Party kab de raha hai ?'

13.If U refer to any past as 'kal hi ki to baat hai',be it yesterday or long before three hundred years.

14.It does'nt matter where in the "Gulf/middle east" you are leaving you always tell you are going to "Dubai".(I know of one family who still keep telling everyone their son is in "Dubai" but he is physically in yemem for the past 5 years).

15.You are 45 minutes late and you feel you are on time.

16.You look at the fixed price stand and still ask 'kitne mein doge bolo'

17.If you feel offended by someone looking at you(Specially if u are a Girl)

18.If at least 4 of ur friends claimed to be having a GF/BF whom u may never meet in ur life.

19.If you feel its legal and your birth right to show your hand and stop the traffic (better than an traffic police!)while you cross the road whenever and wherever you like.

20.The red light in signal only matters when you are not in hurry and you are always in hurry.

21.If you can hang out in a small tea stall the whole day after ordering one cup tea and a empty for yourself and your dear friend and chat like thats the last day with each other.

22.If you have Hotel Madrasi Biryani or Mathurawasi chat or Jairam chowk faluda or nathhu kulfi or jaisthamb chowk juice atleast once in a week.

23. If you go to the Petrol pump and say "Panch Point Single Oil mar yaar" and hand over 15 bucks.

24. If you can relate the words 'Sahi hain','lagee rahoo''kya chal raha hai baap' and make these the integral part of your vocabulary.

25.If u go to have a glass of juice in the jaisthamb chowk and while the 2 minutes u spend there u see atleast 7 peoples passing by whom u know.

26.If you tell your friend that you will 'just come back' ("abbhi aata hun mein") and your friend knows that either you will take a couple of hours or not come back at all.

27.If your bike/car/scooter have atleast one scratch gifted by the local rikshaw wala or thela wala.

I think i covered all the conditions necessary and sufficient for you to be a typical raipur citizen.If you think i missed any of important point please mail me.

Mera Bharat Mahan

2005-07-14T23:30:00.000-07:00

All i want to talk about today is movies

2005-07-12T22:41:00.000-07:00

Last 3 movies i saw(in theatre):

1)Meet The Focker: A hilarious american comedy.Loved the Hoffman-De niro chemistry.Also liked the benstiller's acting.Overall not as good as Meet the parents but worth watching.

2)Constintine: A Drab supernatural thriller.Only plus point was the acting of Kiano Reeves.And ofcourse good dialoges specially that one-"I am john.john constintine.Asshole.

3)Finding Neverland: A total senti stuff.Almost half of the people in theatre(mostly ladies) were crying in the end.Overall nice movie with impressive performance by Hoffman and Jonney Depp.

Few of my all time favorites:

You got mail: One of the best romantic movie ever made.I loved almost every character of the movie.Meg Rayn has looked angelic and her chemistry with Oscarguy Tom Hanks is too good to be true.One almost feels like want to fall in love again after watching the movie.Will definately avoid watching it for atleast next six months.

Forest Gump: One of the most inspiring movie ever made.Nominated for 11 Oscars.A Must See movie

Reality Bites: Just watch this movie for character played by Ethan hawkes.

Some other movies that i liked:
When harry met sally, French kiss , There's something about marry , T-2, Die hard , Wedding planner , Primal fear, The silence of the lambs and many more.

Something about Desi movies:

Movies i liked:
Jhankar beats: All about following ur dream howsever weird it may be.
Jo jeeta wohi sikandar: Nice true to life movie.Also liked the songs of the movie.
All mallika sherawat movie: Just watch her i mean them.

Some movies i wish i had never seen:
Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam: Ok heres story 2 heros one heroine and her father is vilan.In end one hero sacrifices his love.Could it get more drab?Really all of U if u keep watching them they'll keep making them.

Hello brother: A storyless movie.Seriously,I have seen some Pornos with better storylineup.

Kaho naa pyar hai : If u keep watching them.....Yeah Whatever.

Cleaning out my closet.

2005-07-09T01:28:00.000-07:00

It would not be wrong if i say that men(and surelly women) are slowely turning into robots(plastic robots incase of women).And i don't mean this in figurative sence.I got my own share of this robotic journey yesterday.I got a pair of contact lenses for my self.Yes i am visibaly impaired(with all those activists u need to be politically correct these days) but not to that extend as u all may think.I know my photo in the profile is without specks but then its kinda my blog so i can afford to hide(read lie about) certain facts.

Anyways i was really satisfied with my lenses.I mean i had heard all those craps about them being so irritating to eyes,expensive and along with other craps but with 1200 bucks for a good pair,whose complaining.
When i came home wearing them for the first time i had reacted melodramatically by saying to my mom that-"Maa meri aakhe vapas aa gayi.Main dekh sakta hoon maa!!!".Man i should really stop watching old hindi movies.

I also finally decided(or was forced to do so by my mom) to clean up my closet today.I donno when i cleaned it last but by the look of it,it seems centuries ago.I think i did a hell good job cleaning it.Look at the picture of my closet before and after i cleaned it.

My closet before i cleaned it.

My closet after i cleaned it.

LOL.Ok-ok first picture is not of my closet but then my closet looked exactly the same few days earlier.I also found my slamshirt.Will talk about it latter.

Quote of the Week.

2005-07-07T00:45:00.000-07:00

There are 10 kind of people in this world.Those who can read boolean algebra and those who can't.

The invisible friends

2005-07-05T10:08:00.000-07:00

I still remember that when i saw the movie Mr.India,I really wanted to be invisible atleast once in my life.Actually i was kinda invisible kid in my school but i think all of u know what i mean.

The most weird thing is that i never thought that i would be able to become invisible.But with the Yahoo messenger,i got the power.Now we can all afford to have the virtual invisiblity of our own.And looking at the way my messenger looks in a typical sunday evening,i guess every one(at lease all my friends) really enjoys the invisibility.In fact i don't even remember seeing Ila, Anand or Ruchira ever online.

On any typical day whenever i sign in to my messenger,i always sees Amit Mandal online with some weird message like-chat with me or i am taking lunch or i am idle etc.He is one guy who is utilizing the freebees(read free internet) provided by the IITs(read taxpayers) to the fullest.I am also going to join an IIT.So beware everyone,u may well see a lot more of me.

Besides Amit,I usually see Shweta Singh and Tanuja sarkar(compu branch)online usually late at night.So may be its higher studies that makes u a frequent net user(read netaddict).Or may be a typical IT job makes u hate computer so much that u stops comming online(or becoming visible) or in immotral words of Gautam Buddha-comming to light from darkness.

More than a friend

2005-06-30T06:17:00.000-07:00

I always wanted more from you
than you were willing to give;
So now we've gone our separate ways
each with different lives to live.

The bond will always be there
the friendship always intact;
But the time for us has come and gone
and the pages of time, you can't turn back.

I will always be a friend to you
and wonder how you are;
The smiles and laughter I will remember
and our fights have become painless scars.

Sometimes on those busy days
when you've a thousand things to do;
Please let me glide slowly through your mind
and spend some time with you.

In that quiet moment
when you're surprised to find me there;
Just remember even with the distance between us
I am still someone who cares.

We are all made up of stars.

2005-06-30T05:26:00.000-07:00

If there will be world war-III, i would bet that argentina and brazil would be the countries to start it.Any one who have any idea about football would easily understand what i am trying to say.

I am talking about the confederation cup final that took place last night.Argentina with kinda form they are in where clear favorite.But brazil once again showed what individual briliance could do.Just after 15 minutes,Brazil where 2-0 up with breathtakin goals from Adriano and Kaka.Adriano is undoubtably a great find for brazil.Brazil won 4-1 in the end and argentina clearly missed the likes of Batistuta and other formar greats.

Any wayz the fighting was not limited only to the stadium.Scroll down to see what i mean.

This was an add posted by an Argentinean Condom manufacturing company,showing what argentina is going to do to brazil.

This was posted on a Brazalian site today showing what actually happened in the match.LOL

Pictures do speak a thousand words.

Quote of the week

2005-06-21T10:07:00.000-07:00

I was complaining to God about my broken sleepers untill i saw a guy with no feets.

Finally got back my caution money

2005-06-09T00:30:00.000-07:00

Today i went to my college.Probably this was the last time i went there.Today i also realize something i.e. all administrative govt servants are Assholes and my college accountant is the king of them.I am telling this coz i finally got my caution money back after 4 months of hard work.Afterall what kinda rule is that u can't get ur work done on any day except wednesday???

Anyways i went to my college with Rahul and Rajiv. Rahul has been one of my best friend for quite a while now.And i think it will remain so in future also. In my account section i met my HOD Mr.Shrish verma.Now he is the dude whom i had always respected in my college.I always thought that he was the man with a good head in his shoulder.It's another matter that i found his lectures utterly boring and hardly use to attend them.But then i am engineer By-default.I do have a BE degree with minimum of technical knowledge.

But while roaming around in my college,the 4 and 1/2(No i never had a backlog) years of my life just had a urgent call back.I could easily remember my first day at the college,my first crush(Or was it love???), all those practical classes that i never attended,all those funny moments in my college life and all those friends i made in my college. Have no more time now but will definitely write about my college in my next post.

Say It before it's too late

2005-06-08T11:20:00.000-07:00

Check this out.I got it in my mail as a forward by a very old friend of mine.I was really touched by this and wanted to share it.

As I sat there in English class,
I stared at the girl next to me
She was my so called 'best friend '
I stared at her long[/color], silky hair,
and wished she was mine
But she didn't notice me like that,
and I knew it...
After class, she walked up to me and
asked me for the notes
she had missed the day before
I handed them to her
She said 'thanks' and left...
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why...

11th Grade...

The phone rang...On the other end,
it was her...She was in tears,
mumbling on and on about how her
love had broke her heart
She asked me to come over because
she didn't want to be alone, So I did
As I sat next to her on the sofa,
I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips, she decided to go home
She looked at me, said 'thanks' and left...
I want to tell her, I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why...

Senior year...

One fine day she walked to my locker
"My date is sick" she said, "hes not gonna go well",
I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade,
we made a promise that if neither of us had dates,
we would go together just as 'best friends'
So we did...That night, after everything was over,
I was standing at her front door step
I stared at her as She smiled at me
and stared at me with her crystal eyes
Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!" and
left...
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why...

Graduation...

A day passed, then a week, then a month
Before I could blink, it was graduation day
I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel
up on stage to get her diploma
I wanted her to be mine-but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it
Before everyone went home,
she came to me in her smock and hat,
and cried as I hugged her
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder
and said- 'you're my best friend, thanks' and left...
I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why...

Marriage...

Now I sit in the pews of the church
That girl is getting married now
and drive off to her new life,
married to another man
I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn't see me like that,
and I knew it...
But before she drove away,
she came to me and said 'you came! '
She said 'thanks' and left...
I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why...

Death...

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin
of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.
At the service, they read a diary entry
she had wrote in her high school years
This is what it read:
"I stare at him wishing he was mine;
but he doesn't notice me like that,
and I know it. I want to tell him,
I want him to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why...
I wish he would tell me he loved me ! "
...'I wish I did too'...
I thought to my self, and I cried.....

" Do yourself a favour, tell her/him you love them...
They won't be there...................Forever

Isin't it a true for every one of us that even in the matter of something as good and pure as love we wait for that so called perfect time to confess our love or sometimes just let our feelings die a silent death!!!!

But does it takes us anywhere????Afterall love is one of the most basic need of every human being.So what are we all afraid of???Rejection???But remember onething it is better to confess your feelings and move on with life than to hang in there forever hoping that someday a miracle would happen.

101 Things About Me

2005-06-03T02:49:00.000-07:00

101 things about me !!!!!

1. i am a fun loving person.

2. i kick ass at Programming.

3. i watch Mad TV on Zee English . i don’t know why.

4. i’m a much better creative writer than my own profession. through which i will earn my bread and butter...

5. i thought i would get married by 23.

6. i think of getting married by 28.

7. some days i totally forget that i should get married also..

8. i hate ppl who get into my nerves.

9. i was Invisible backbencher nerd in school.

10. i was the most visible kid in my college.

11. i am not a big sports fan.

12. people think i am over ambitious.

13. but i am not.

14. I am crazy about T-shirts

15. i’m really good at a lot of things, but i’m scared i’m not great at anything.

16. i love reading books.

17. i am nuts for icecream.

18. i hate ppl who smoke...

19. i’m incredibly unphotogenic.

20. i cant touch my nose with my tongue.

21. butter YES.Cheese YES please...

22. if i had to choose between TV and death, i’d choose TV.

23. nothing pisses me off more than a closed mind.

24. i love to dress up everytime i go out.

25. a total music addict.

26. BONO was my favorite member from U-2

27. i lost my love coz of my little sis mistake.

28. she may never know this.

29. but anyways i love her more than anything else.

30. she may never know this either.

31. i don’t look like anyone famous.

32. i HATE sports.

33. i think i have an amazing sence of humour.

33. i can't remember my grandparents.

34. i rock at online pool.

35. i really like the smell of the first rain and the wet mud.

36. i never missed even a single episode of FRIENDS.

37. i am afraid of driving 4 wheelers.

38. i’m a cartoon addict... .

39. i’m not compulsive list maker.

40. i don’t like citrus fruit.

41. i love JUNK foods.

42. i always know who is upto a plan in buggin me ..

43. i had been to almost all metros of india.

44. i liked hyderabad the most.

45. i am excelent at flirting.

46. i wish i was fluent in french.

47. and italian.

48. i hate it when people dont correct me when i am wrong...

49. i enjoy wishtelling ....espcially when alone

50. my feet are always cold.

51. i prefer telephone to the email.

52. what i don't get is why julia roberts married lyle lovett.

53. i wanted to marry her.

54. i can work crossword puzzles in ink.

55. i wish i could remember to clean my bike.

56. i am a good listener......and a good adviser.

57. i hold grudges. i try really hard not to, but sometimes i just can't help myself.

58. i actually like speaking in front of large crowds.

59. i don't know how to speak Punjabi.

60. may never learn it either.

61. i hate family politics.....oh no i hate all type of politics.

62. i would be a really good DaD, but right now i'm cool with being a really good SoN.

63. i am sometimes more perceptive than i would like to be.

64. i am sometimes, stupidly loyal.

65. i never played dumb. never.

66. i am way too hard on myself.

67. i am a mama's boy(don't laugh)....

68. i sometimes cross that fine line between assertive and aggressive.

69. i am not afraid to tell people that i love them.

70. i like sitting near mall and observing peoples.

71. the people i hate thinks i am reserved....

72. coz i always try avoiding them.

73. i know a little bit about a lot of things.

74. i'm a bundle of contradictions. covered in secret sauce.

75. i typically enjoy the company of women more than men.

76. i am capable of being really mean and nasty, but i fight it, really hard.

77. i am a lifelong my dad's fan.

78. i am lousy at forgiving myself.

79. i am an indoor kind of guy.

80. i hate my name...,

81. i am a bargain shopper..... to the point of obsession.

82. i have never stolen im my life.

83. i set high standards for myself in all areas of my life, and I often expect others to do the same...without ever telling them.

84. i’ve never read lovestories.

85. i love my family more than anything in the whole world.

86. i am fascinated by serial killers.

87. i can eat all kinda things......

88. including Beefs,Porks,Ducks and Lobsters.

89. i’ve discovered that it is virtually impossible for me to physically relax.

90. i love movies. especially the " u've got mail" . and pretty much anything and everything. and...oh, hell, i just love movies.

91. i have a sinking feeling that i’m going to die relatively young, but i don’t let it interfere with my day-to-day life.

92. i worry that i'm "supposed" to be doing something great...like world-changing great. but i have no idea what it is.

93. i know he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but i was my dad's favorite.

94. i try and do the right thing. all the time. and it’s hard.

95. i fuckingly hate it when you think someone is your friend and it turns out that they’re actually a sociopath.

96. i learned the word fuck from my school friends in 10th grade....

97. some days i’m scared to death but i think i hide it well.

98. i’ve never been anywhere i loved more than my room..

99. i am sad when it comes to me thinking about poverty and hunger for the poor and the needy..

100. i love pastas and chinese....

101. i know i will be always young at heart.

PS: 102. Lately i have started to wish that i was a bit more manipulative ....life would have been so easy then :).

My first post

2005-06-02T05:25:00.001-07:00

Hello.
This is the first time that i am creating a Blog.To be absolute honest,I always wanted to do this i.e to have my own 5MB of FAME but i was never sure that i am a good enough writer to start my own blog.But after going through so many postings on net i have realized that u need not know anything about writing to be a good blogist(If there is something like that).

So here i am creating history(or something like that) by publishing my own blog.Now that i have taken a plunge into that i think i already have so much to share that i can write forever without ever getting out of stuffs to write.

May be this is the kinda thing i always wanted???