Recently the blogger community has taken a great initiative to bring out the often sweptin issues regarding the sexual harrasement of women.This initiative is called as Blanknoise Project.I have already written about the similar Issue in my blog before but am writing again for the great cause.I am not writing on the eve teasing and related issues as there are already many blogs covering it.I am instead bringing up another controversial and a very neglected issue of marital rape.My aim is just to spread awareness for the cause.This is my contibution to the great project.
The Marital Rape:
A women marries a man with some dreams.Dreams that the man will love her,pampers her with gifts,surprise her just to see a smile on her face,who will protect her from all the harms of the world but what if she needs to be protected from her own husband.
Rape is rape, regardless of the relationship between the rapist and the victim. It can be a total stranger; someone you recognise by sight, but have never really communicated with; someone you know superficially, a neighbour or a colleague; a friend, a boy-friend or a former boyfriend; a live-in partner, or a former partner; someone you are married to or have been married to in the past.
So what actually is a Marital Rape?
Marital rape is any unwanted sexual acts by a spouse or ex-spouse, committed without consent and/or against a person's will, obtained by force, or threat of force, intimidation, or when a person is unable to consent.
How is it different from stranger rape?
Stranger rape is usually a one-off, someone you don't know, with whom you don't share any experiences or history. When the assault happens, there can be no doubt as to what is happening: that it is Rape.In marital rape the circumstances are very different in the sence it leaves the victim very confused. It is - quite apart from a physical and sexual violation - a betrayal of trust. Here is a person whom you thought you knew intimately, with whom you share a history, a home and quite often children.
When it is the person you have entrusted your life to who rapes you, it isn't just physical or sexual assault, it is a betrayal of the very core of your marriage, of your person, of your trust.
How common are marital rape?
It was found on a recent survey in india that more than 1 in every 7 women who have ever been married, have been raped in marriage.And yet this issue is swept under carpet.
The worst part is that this henious crime is prevelent not only in rural,uneducated class,but also in so called "sophisticated" educated junta.I also think that this type of act is done by the man who are either very violent or an alcoholic.If a man is gentle,he would not want to hurt the woman in any way,weither it is emotional or physical.
I believe that marriage is a contract based on mutual love, consideration and respect. Both partners have a right to their own body, and while consideration for each person's sexual needs is normal, forced sexual acts are not. They aren't an expression of love. They are a purposeful betrayal of the respect and trust which form a solid marriage.
It is even worse in indian context.Many a time a girl is married off to a guy,without her consent and sometimes,she hasen't even seen the guy before marriage.So,isin't the concept first night sex in an arrange marriage is itself a rape???Also she has to sleep with her husband to get shelter and food from him.So isin't it a form of forced Prostitution???
I know i am raisng a controversial issue,but i do believe in it being unfair on women to give her body to a "complete stranger" whom her parents have choosen to be her life partner.And maximum justice that a woman being raped can get...if at all is a divorce.
It touches me more as a man when i see my sex responsible for such a henious crime on humanity.Some of these do makes me feel ashamed of being a man.I just wants to end my post with a few lines i wrote describing the picture that comes in my mind as i think of the marital rape.Its not a poem but what came to my mind as i thought about this issue.
Ashamed yet,ready to succumb,
the devil winning without a fight,
reflecting the textures of the scream,
shallowed as the dimming light.
The light of the devil's pleasure.
the naked lust trapped forever,
in the mirror and the madeness of the room,
no escae for her now from this devil.
The potrait of pain and agony,
carved of with a forbidden chiesel.
burning the skin,burning the soul,
the music is slowely cresending,
naked body wraped in the simphony,
the humanity loosing his face once again
just to satisfy a devil's pleasure.
Just to satisfy a devil's pleasure
Every woman has a right over her own body, Do not let it be violated.
Labels: poem
